01 September 2012
19 January 2012
Women - Ruining a good thing.
Woman ruins a mans weekend.... played out all over America.
The setup.
The man desperately wants to watch his favorite sporting event during an evening. Earlier in the day he really wanted to play golf but he went out 2 weekends ago and did something he did not want to do the last weekend that did not count because it was not a really together day.
He was on his best behavior Saturday and went shopping with the woman, all is good.
Sunday he does a few of the Honey-Do things so he feels he has the evening to enjoy himself.
He sits down with a brewski his wonderful lady on the couch reading a great work of literature "us, people, the sun, tmz...." whatever.
The American Anthem is over and he starts drinking the brew and munching on his chips.
Woman tsk...tsk...tsks ... something,
Mistake #1 : Man asks whats up, immediately tries to retract and go to the bathroom even though the kickoff is in the air. "he understands he has tripped whatever booby-trap he has walked into"
Woman makes statement about that bastard "we will just use jesse james for example" how could he fool around on poor Sandra with those slutty girls, you bite your tongue by not saying "the bitch got what she deserved, what was she thinking, he is a "bad boy" all tatted up and a wild man she wanted to taste the wild side, got what she wanted and then wanted people to feel sorry for her when it turned out YOU CAN NOT CHANGE A BAD MAN". but instead demurs, he must have been on drugs, who could cheat on poor cute sandra. (she is the girl next door, so she is not to interested in whether you would do her or not).
She has another bullet in the chamber just waiting for the trigger to be pulled.
The first quarter ends and man is quite pleased how things are going.
Mistake #2 - not knowing he is being set up because the few brews he has had cloud his judgement.
Woman makes statement about that bastard "we will just use Brad Pitt for example" how could he leave Jenn for Angelina, Jenn is so much prettier than the home wrecking slut Angelina.
She turns to her man who has now shrunk into the couch cushion and is trying to avoid the flying shrapnel that is heading his way.
What do you think, Is Angelina prettier than Jenn......
Mistake #3 : not being struck mute before sounds squeak out of his mouth.
Well, woman intones with a sugary sweet voice knowing the trap is sprung.
Mistake #4: agreeing with her, yea Brad really treated Jenn badly, she nods.
Man sighs thinking he dodged the bullet..... ha...ha....ha....ha.....
You didn't answer the question... she purrs.... claws extending....
He watches the game for a little while and drinks a few brews, just enjoying life... he is even thinking he may get a little later.
Ignoring the question he gets up to go to the bathroom and grab another cool one...... pleased with himself.
Sits back down the game is in it's second quarter 13-10 his favorite team leading but opponent has the ball.
Mistake #5 A contented smile and small sigh leave his mouth....
well.... a little louder, while looking over the offending rag.....
It's a commercial so he has no fall back, poor bastard..... now thinking "if i was going to have to deal with stuff, I should have got drunk and played golf anyway.
Mistake #6: not faking an intestinal parasite and shitting all over himself and couch, so he has an excuse to get a shower, clean himself up and head to the local tavern after sneaking out the bathroom window and leaving a stinking pile of dung on the couch. His day is totaled and he realizes it but just continues stumbling on into the bleak future. "how dare he want a quiet evening of football enjoyment".
Instead he says, "what", she repeats quietly do you think Angelina Jolie is prettier than Jennifer Aniston and would you leave cute, cute, little innocent Jenn for that slathering, slutty, brother kissing, limo sexing, blood wearing tattooed succubus...
Last chance to have just a bad evening and not a total night wrecking 3 weeks of presents to try to make up answer.
He stumbles a little and tells her that she is prettier than either one of them and wouldn't change a thing in his life.
A big cheer goes up on the screen - his team is down by 10 and it is the end of the first half, he missed the last 10 minutes of game play blathering about.
She says I know I am pretty but who do YOU think is prettier.
Mistake #7 : he gives an answer, Jenn is much cuter than Angelina and Brad should have stuck with her.
The half time is going on, he gets up, gets a brewdog and thinks things are fine.....
Third quarter kickoff, boom, great runback for his team, out to the opposing 45.
All right.. he thinks.... a few minutes go by and his team scores, down only 3... whoo hooo... this is getting good.
Things progress for a few minutes, then quietly woman asks "so Jenn is prettier, would you have left Jenn for Angelina, she is pretty sexy and would likely do whatever you would want."
Mistake #8: being distracted by the game he mumbles something not quite coherent, she asks "what did you say I couldn't hear that, do you thinks she is sexy" he says yea I guess so.....
Woman says "So you would leave me for Angelina" he stutters and sputters but knows the game is over....
Mistake #9, not putting a gun to his head and pulling the trigger.
Now I know how you really feel....... you bastard, all men are alike, some slutty bitch struts her stuff and all you can think of is how can I get some of that....
After that things do not get better...........
Later the police are called........
The setup.
The man desperately wants to watch his favorite sporting event during an evening. Earlier in the day he really wanted to play golf but he went out 2 weekends ago and did something he did not want to do the last weekend that did not count because it was not a really together day.
He was on his best behavior Saturday and went shopping with the woman, all is good.
Sunday he does a few of the Honey-Do things so he feels he has the evening to enjoy himself.
He sits down with a brewski his wonderful lady on the couch reading a great work of literature "us, people, the sun, tmz...." whatever.
The American Anthem is over and he starts drinking the brew and munching on his chips.
Woman tsk...tsk...tsks ... something,
Mistake #1 : Man asks whats up, immediately tries to retract and go to the bathroom even though the kickoff is in the air. "he understands he has tripped whatever booby-trap he has walked into"
Woman makes statement about that bastard "we will just use jesse james for example" how could he fool around on poor Sandra with those slutty girls, you bite your tongue by not saying "the bitch got what she deserved, what was she thinking, he is a "bad boy" all tatted up and a wild man she wanted to taste the wild side, got what she wanted and then wanted people to feel sorry for her when it turned out YOU CAN NOT CHANGE A BAD MAN". but instead demurs, he must have been on drugs, who could cheat on poor cute sandra. (she is the girl next door, so she is not to interested in whether you would do her or not).
She has another bullet in the chamber just waiting for the trigger to be pulled.
The first quarter ends and man is quite pleased how things are going.
Mistake #2 - not knowing he is being set up because the few brews he has had cloud his judgement.
Woman makes statement about that bastard "we will just use Brad Pitt for example" how could he leave Jenn for Angelina, Jenn is so much prettier than the home wrecking slut Angelina.
She turns to her man who has now shrunk into the couch cushion and is trying to avoid the flying shrapnel that is heading his way.
What do you think, Is Angelina prettier than Jenn......
Mistake #3 : not being struck mute before sounds squeak out of his mouth.
Well, woman intones with a sugary sweet voice knowing the trap is sprung.
Mistake #4: agreeing with her, yea Brad really treated Jenn badly, she nods.
Man sighs thinking he dodged the bullet..... ha...ha....ha....ha.....
You didn't answer the question... she purrs.... claws extending....
He watches the game for a little while and drinks a few brews, just enjoying life... he is even thinking he may get a little later.
Ignoring the question he gets up to go to the bathroom and grab another cool one...... pleased with himself.
Sits back down the game is in it's second quarter 13-10 his favorite team leading but opponent has the ball.
Mistake #5 A contented smile and small sigh leave his mouth....
well.... a little louder, while looking over the offending rag.....
It's a commercial so he has no fall back, poor bastard..... now thinking "if i was going to have to deal with stuff, I should have got drunk and played golf anyway.
Mistake #6: not faking an intestinal parasite and shitting all over himself and couch, so he has an excuse to get a shower, clean himself up and head to the local tavern after sneaking out the bathroom window and leaving a stinking pile of dung on the couch. His day is totaled and he realizes it but just continues stumbling on into the bleak future. "how dare he want a quiet evening of football enjoyment".
Instead he says, "what", she repeats quietly do you think Angelina Jolie is prettier than Jennifer Aniston and would you leave cute, cute, little innocent Jenn for that slathering, slutty, brother kissing, limo sexing, blood wearing tattooed succubus...
Last chance to have just a bad evening and not a total night wrecking 3 weeks of presents to try to make up answer.
He stumbles a little and tells her that she is prettier than either one of them and wouldn't change a thing in his life.
A big cheer goes up on the screen - his team is down by 10 and it is the end of the first half, he missed the last 10 minutes of game play blathering about.
She says I know I am pretty but who do YOU think is prettier.
Mistake #7 : he gives an answer, Jenn is much cuter than Angelina and Brad should have stuck with her.
The half time is going on, he gets up, gets a brewdog and thinks things are fine.....
Third quarter kickoff, boom, great runback for his team, out to the opposing 45.
All right.. he thinks.... a few minutes go by and his team scores, down only 3... whoo hooo... this is getting good.
Things progress for a few minutes, then quietly woman asks "so Jenn is prettier, would you have left Jenn for Angelina, she is pretty sexy and would likely do whatever you would want."
Mistake #8: being distracted by the game he mumbles something not quite coherent, she asks "what did you say I couldn't hear that, do you thinks she is sexy" he says yea I guess so.....
Woman says "So you would leave me for Angelina" he stutters and sputters but knows the game is over....
Mistake #9, not putting a gun to his head and pulling the trigger.
Now I know how you really feel....... you bastard, all men are alike, some slutty bitch struts her stuff and all you can think of is how can I get some of that....
After that things do not get better...........
Later the police are called........
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